Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Randomize
