Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Randomize
