I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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