He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
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