Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
