jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
