I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
I DEMAND FORESKIN
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize