Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Randomize
