is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
