You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
