What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Randomize
