your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
We won't sleep together?
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
You need Xanax blowdarts
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize