it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize