I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
