a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
