I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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