I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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