There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Soap is not a condiment
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
You ever have a fart follow you around?
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
