I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Randomize
