You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
