just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
Randomize
