was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
