Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
