whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Randomize
