you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Randomize
