Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Randomize
