Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
My vagina is officially offended.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Randomize
