Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
