I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
