everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Randomize
