he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Randomize
