I hope mine doesn't look like that
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
He better not be in your backpack
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Randomize
