i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Randomize
