I need help removing her.
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Randomize
