You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize
