ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Randomize
