I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Randomize
