so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I'm going to jail i love you
oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
