he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Bring me that man meat
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
Randomize
