He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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