check it out our google latitudes are spooning
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Randomize
