hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
