I can't watch pbs sober anymore
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
