How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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