the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
