I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Randomize