2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
