And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize