oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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