Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Randomize
