I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Randomize
