I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
That's when you crack a 10am beer
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
