Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
