Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
