So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
