Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
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