Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Maybe he injected his testicle?
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Randomize
