I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
