my soul wont recognize me after tonight
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
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