i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize