I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
