My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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