so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
I party with great urgency now.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
