In the future we'll all be gay
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
its not stalking. its research.
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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