His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Randomize
