I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
