Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Randomize
