In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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