You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
We don't watch enough power rangers
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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