I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
